Tricia

This page contains a chapter from a book written by my spiritual mom/mentor, Halee Spriggins. She describes how we met and how she helped me. Halee spent thirty-five years as a missionary in the Congo. She now lives at Pilgrim Place in Claremont. She never married, nor has any children. I have come to love and care for her deeply. Her faith in the Lord is amazingly strong and her spiritual maturity rivals that of my foster parents. Here are her words.

Tricia

by Halee Spriggins

I met Tricia at a Women’s Retreat at Arrowhead Springs in April of 1998. At one of the sessions, she courageously exposed a tiny window into the wretchedness of her life. She said just enough to reveal some of the deep emotional and psychological wounds that had scarred her from childhood. My heart went out to her. After the meeting, I felt compelled to contact her.

“Tricia,” I said, “can we get together sometime for a cup of coffee?”

“Sure”, she repied.

We got together on April 18th. I learned how tightly scheduled Tricia’s days were. Getting up at 4:30 a.m., she left the house at 5:30, and worked from 6:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. in an office. She often worked overtime or took work home with her. Every evening was taken up with a computer class, an exercise class, a small church group, or a session twice weekly with her therapist. All that besides being a wife and mother of three children!

“Tricia,” I exclaimed, “why do you carry such a heavy load?!”

“So I won’t have time to think,” she muttered.

“Ok, Tricia. One of the first things we need to pray about, is to ask God to lighten your schedule, so you can start to deal with your problems instead of running from them.”

She kept her eyes down. It was hard for her to pray, so I prayed that God would somehow give her breathing space in order to start to cope with her problems.

On May 1st, Tricia phoned. “The doctor has just ordered me to be hospitalized because of complete exhaustion.”

Answers to prayers sometimes come in strange packages. After three days in the hospital, she was dismissed, with the doctor’s order of complete rest during the month of May – no work, no classes, no meetings. Later, that rest period was extended to October 10th.

During the month of May, we met together every Saturday morning. Bits and pieces of Tricia’s horrible past emerged little by little. Her father had habitually abused her sexually from the time she was four years old. She eventually became a victim of her three brothers as well. Incest became nearly a daily occurrence. Her mother pretended not to know or did not want to know.

“But, Tricia, why didn’t you get some outside help?!” I asked, aghast.

“My father said he’d kill me if I ever told anyone.”

Her father had a terrible temper, becoming extremely violent when angry. Both her mother and Tricia were afraid of him. Outside of the home, he appeared very kind, and frequently had Tricia sing duets with him in church. To try to cope with the dichotomy, Tricia developed multiple personalities. At age 14, she became pregnant, often swallowing her own morning sickness vomit, while sitting in church, to keep from exposing her condition. She faced the dilemma alone, begging God to take the child away. Her parents did not learn of her pregnancy until the 9th month.

When she gave birth to a baby girl, she didn’t know who the father was – her own father or one of her brothers. After giving the child up for adoption and returning home from the hospital, she thought the sexual abuse would cease, now that she could become pregnant. It didn’t. She kept pleading with God to make it stop. He didn’t. Why was He so silent? She felt that everyone had abandoned her, even God.

Having lost all hope, and feeling that the only way out was to kill herself, she swallowed a bottleful of pills. For her, death was the only solution. God prevented that catastrophe. She woke up to find herself in the psychiatric ward of a hospital, where she remained for two months. When it came time to leave, she told the therapist that if they sent her back home, she would try to kill herself again. Fortunately, he knew of a Christian family, (Tom & Vera Grimmius), in his church who took in foster girls. They agreed to accept Tricia.

The foster parents were wonderful Christians and provided a safe haven for Tricia. They also sent her to a Christian High School for her senior year. Afterwards, God enabled her to attend a Christian College, where she met her future husband. But her emotional and psychological wounds hadn’t disappeared. Even at 43 years of age, as Tricia recounted her past to me, she was torn apart with heart-rending sobs. We spent hours and days together, studying the Word of God and praying.

It took her a long time to trust me. In fact, to trust anybody. And no wonder.

Sometimes I found Tricia at my door every day. Sometimes twice a day. I remember asking God, “Lord, is she taking advantage of me?’

I also remember His answer. “No, she has been deeply wounded. Be patient. Just love her and get her into My Word. It’s important that she know the Truth. She needs to know the truth about Me, about herself, about her situation, about the Kingdom of God, and about Satan. If she continues in my Word, she will know the truth and the truth will set her free.” (John 8:31-32). That promise bolstered my faith. But the battle was not over.

On one occasion, after we had made headway in dealing with one segment of her trauma, she returned to inform me that what she had told me about her past was not true. It was all too obvious that her horrendous past was true. Of course, if it weren’t, she wouldn’t have to deal with it! Another of Satan’s ploys.

Sometimes I wondered if I had gotten in over my head. As we met together week after week, Satan tried to persuade me that maybe the Word of God and prayer were too simplistic a solution. I refused to believe him. “The truth shall set you free!”

Forgiving her father and mother required considerable time. Even to want to forgive them. That’s where Philippians 2:13 helped us out. “It is God who works in you both to will and to do His good pleasure.” If we don’t have the desire to forgive, God can give it to us! The same with the actual ability to forgive. But we have to ask Him for it.

Little by little, truth and the power of God took over in Tricia’s life. It was an uphill struggle, but “Faithful is He who calls you. It’s He who will do it!” I Thessalonians 5:24.

Tricia is a living witness to the power of God to heal and restore. What’s more, she’s a delight and joy as my spiritual daughter!